she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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