well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
i out mim tonsoeep
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
