In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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