Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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