try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
