That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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