You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
