we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
