Will you blow on my dice?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I'm having to shit out rocks
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
