OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
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We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
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The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
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