pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Less talking, more tequila
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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