HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
