can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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