I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize