Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
