Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
