Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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