with your own penis?
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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