I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
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