is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
