I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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