There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
