My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
