What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
