At least make sure they are 18
Why
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
