what day is it and did you see me today?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
