i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
