The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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