Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize
