My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
