I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
