I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
