I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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