I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
