Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize