weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
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