is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
