He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
