All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
