barbara walters just said penis...
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
