just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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