you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
