what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
