you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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