I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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