Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
