Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
