break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
