we have officially lost it.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
