jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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