Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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