I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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