This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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