She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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