id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
