in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
