I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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