I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
