those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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